December 2013

Threats

We’re going to bash your head with a rock, we said. If you don’t learn

to recycle on recycling day, we’ll bash your head with a rock, we said.

If you don’t put the plastics in one bin and the aluminum in another

bin, we’ll bash your head with a rock, we said. We’ll even bash your

head while you sleep, we said. How about that, we said. When our

hands go up your mouth goes SHUT, we said. Or we’ll pluck out your

eyeballs and mash them to BITS, we said. We’ll call up your Gran and

tell her she SUCKS, we said. We’ll break all your pencils, we said. Oh

yeah you know it, we said. Better sort your recylates, we said. We’ve

got a bomb, we said. Oh yes we do, we said. Stop crying, we said.

Sheesh, we said. Ok you get one last chance, we said. We can teach you

to compost, we said. We live in #8, we said. Our doormat says

“OH NO NOT YOU AGAIN,” we said. Just ring the bell and bring the

worms, we said. We’ll make finger sandwiches, we said. It is

exhausting but we’ll do it, we said. Just don’t forget what we said, we

said. About the rock, we said.