i fall to my knees when i think of you and it’s like
i’ve forgotten how to speak
how to wrap my tongue around a vowel how to sound
out words how to make basic guttural throatwobbles
like an animal even
i’ve invested so much energy and pot smoke with you
so many thirsty thursdays and cheesy punchlines
so i want to see you stop selfcannibalizing
stop licking your lips biting your nails secondguessing

i want to see you so drunk you stop acting like yourself
stop rhyming your poems
stop writing ballads naming them after your girlfriend

i want you to look at me the way i look at you when you’re not looking