I don’t feel any sadness

for the bodies in the street in warehouses in the woods

in the office chair   church pew   flung on the living room carpet

Sometimes they are especially gruesome: a body slit open

to reveal the organs inside tightly packed   a body hung

upside down   something stuffed in the mouth

And while I may turn away or block the screen with my hand

I like not caring night after night for all of these people

pretending to die   I like being able to look at the pale body

on the autopsy table    head propped up with a wedge

pillow as if they are just resting   it is almost refreshing

seeing someone with a complete absence of movement

just a lie-down   the red line down their chest

could almost be lipstick   drawn-on  not even real   

hands still at their sides    not hands 

I’ve held my whole life and will never hold again.